Skip to main content

Just random bullshit!

So I’m poor. I try and find cheap entertainment. I know most of you will think it is tacky but gossip is cheap and usually greatly entertaining. It is much like reality TV. You watch cops because it makes you feel better about your own life. I have been in some really shitty spots in the journey that is my life, however it has never been so bad that I am chasing my drug dealer down the road in hooker heels, no bra and a busted lip while my three year old kid holds my bong. I’m just saying it serves a purpose.
I live in a small town. The kind of small town where if you sneeze the guy on the radio says God Bless You. Which is cool because clearly we are polite, but when you fart in church everyone is going to know before you get up to shake the preacher’s hand. Plus it seem there is a lot of Jesus in our town. We have a bunch of dairy’s and they work there.

In some ways my hometown should have its own TV series. It would be a cross between, Maury, Jerry Springer, The 700 club and Saturday Night Live with a pinch of Game of Thrones but the dragons would be cows. I went to school with three girls who were all named after our town, two of them shared a last name.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fuck You Boss Man!

So I’m poor. I equate time with money. I feel that if you put in the time you at the very least should get the money. Like lets say you work your fucking ass for the same company for 18 years at an hourly rate of $18 an hour. That rate should be good enough, it should make up for not getting vacation time, retirement, or many a case any benefits. I worked for the same company for 18 years. I had health insurance. I got two weeks vacation,  ....sorta. It translated into 10 days extra pay on what your lowest weekly average for the year. My boss was one of those guys who you would have to give a two month notice to have a day off to go to the doctor. Even when your time off request was written out by him, on the calendar, and you have a sworn statement signed by 25 witnesses and a unicorn. So I had requested Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday off. I had actually requested the time off months in advance. Like five months 18 days and 3 hours ago. You will get told the day b...

Insurance bleh Doctor bleh

So I’m poor. I am lucky enough to have insurance. Well I do now. I have my first doctors appointment in like 18 months scheduled for later. Normal people don’t like going to the doc. If you are poor, you get a panic attack just thinking you have to go see one. I enjoy going into a doctors office already in full hyperventalation. It really cuts down on wait time. Are you alright Ms.? Just make your eyes go big and stare. If you have the look of panic that helps too. I can usually achive it by thinking about what happens if your car breaks down. They get you in much quicker. I had an appointment once and right before I cut my hand. I think I was trying to garden or something. Anyways I walk in and had this bloody hankerchif wraped around my hand, really cut my wait time. I would rather bleed out my eyes then admit then I am sick. First off every moment counts if you get paid by the hour. Taking time off, and going to the doctor is knowing you are hemmoraging from both ends. ...

Roommate Chronicles: A Comedy of Coincidences and Ramen Nights (an extension from a previous post)

Living on a shoestring budget was never part of the grand life plan. But, in the epic struggle to keep up with the cost of existence, I've found myself sharing my living space with a character straight out of an indie film. Let me introduce you to my quirky roommate – an odd duck, a Michigan-Nevada transplant, and a man who owns nothing but a white van with vibes so strong even the ice cream truck avoids my block. Yes, you read that right. My roommate's personal possessions could probably fit inside the palm of your hand. While I do my best not to pass judgment (who am I kidding?), it's hard not to raise an eyebrow at someone who lacks even the most basic creature comforts. Towels? Nah. Furniture? Absolutely not. But, hold on, he does own a van that makes the ice cream truck steer clear. Impressive, I guess? In my more empathetic moments, I try to remind myself that this guy might have a story worthy of a Netflix documentary. Perhaps he's been through the wringer too, a...